Thank you for your encouragement, God is awesome and provides for all our needs. I spoke with my dad last night and he reminded me not to let up with prayer. To in fact, double our efforts due to the evil one's desire to steal God's glory.
It is exhausting to occupy your time trying to solve something that you cannot solve. It is the kind of thing people need to be medicated for because of the loss of sleep and physiological(sorry big word meaning physical) damage to heart, stomach and GI tract. And none of it is necessary. So easy to say, yet near impossible for my selfish heart to do. It is funny how much I can feel the need to be worried. It just seems like I should be pacing and loosing hair. I think I have perfected staring through walls. I can just look and be transported into other worlds, futures of both good and bad. I am thankful to say that when I return to reality the present is exactly as it should be. God has given Esther a less than "normal" entry into life, but her strength and peace is astounding.
Lots of people have told me that what we are writing is inspiring, and I would have to say the same of your responses. We are continually encouraged and genuinely shocked at the amazing show of faith through prayer for our daughter. Understand that what you are doing is making a difference, God hears you and is answering.
Since I started this post this noontime Esther has had another successful ECMO circuit change and is doing very well. When they change these there are not only significant risks to Esther as far as a lag in support from the machine, but she also looses majority of the medications that have been circulating to keep her comfortable and control her pain. Our nurse told us that immediately after they started the new circuit Esther opened her eyes wide open as if to say "what are you doing to me lady!" I am happy to say that just a few minutes ago we got our own "eye" show, and she looked adorable. Scanning the room and looking around with curiosity.
Lord God, we pray for your protection, comfort, peace and joy as we look to You and what you have planned for our moments to come.
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
so that sinners will turn back to you.
14 Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,
you who are God my Savior,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
15 Open my lips, Lord,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
17 My sacrifice, O God, is[b] a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart
you, God, will not despise.