Rhonda and Jason

Rhonda and Jason
Our Wedding Day

Friday, April 27, 2012

continue to trust

No real change to speak of this morning for Esther.  Had another uneventful night.  This morning the conversation continues on how to open her lungs.  Although her lungs were functioning at their best yet, it was not yet enough to come off ECMO.  So she was given something called surfactant (look a wikipedia and you'll still be confused).  This is something that is naturally occurring in us all that works to prevent lung collapse, but she received an artificial version to hopefully help give her lungs the hint to open up.  This is known to initially decrease function, but it is still hard to see her go from her best back to 0 again.  Also the ECMO circuit is pretty gummed up with fibrin and clots.  They will be changing the circuit again this afternoon.  No matter how routine this may seem to be getting, it is still a very critical time.  Esther is very swollen, her tummy is shiny because of how tight the skin is.  She has a large incision across her entire midsection (it outlines the bottom of her rib cage).
Since surgery we haven't been able to talk to, pray out loud over her, or sing over her for fear of over stimulating her and stressing her system.  I have been kind of numb and melancholy with unrealized fear of the unknown.  We must remain strong in our prayer.  The enemy is looking for any opportunity to discourage us and steal God's glory.
I personally feel very weak this morning and would appreciate your prayer.  Rhonda, again is walking strong, supporting me and keeping us organized.  She also has stated that fear is creeping in and she has been trying to stay occupied to avoid it.  We know God hears our prayer, and we know he meets us in our darkest moments.  His Glory shines forth out of our darkness with awesome power that is unexplainable.  Just fearing what sort of darkness might be in store and seeking God to give us the strength to let go of our fear and anxiety giving it wholly to Him.
So, this morning that is where we are.  I plan on updating with the ECMO change and any other news later this afternoon/evening.  Hope your day is filled with His presence and that you can let go casting your cares upon Him.  Jesus is Lord!


  1. God I ask that you would cover RHonda and Jason with the helmet of salvation...As they breathe themselves out I pray that the breath they breathe in would be you. I thank you Father for filling their mind with scripture....of power, strength, healing...Abba, consume their thoughts with praise and gratitude. Allow their focus to be on praising you for the things you have done and are yet to do. Daddy you are the wonderful, merciful, savior, precious redeemer and friend. I pray that as they speak to you that you would strengthen even more their relationship with you. Protect them from those that would discourage. Counselor, Comforter, Keeper, Faithfully loving his own.....Thank you Lord for being that for them.
    Be strong in the Lord, know that he has you in the cleft of his wings. Gird yourself up with the armor of God daily....He wants to destroy your faith, destroy that hope...But God has set up such a large prayer network that I believe you have angels all around Esther, praying in the spirit and filling her with songs of heaven. I love you two... be encouraged...stand firm...do not lose heart in doing what is right. There are those around you that watch how you respond in these hard times. You are God's vessels and he wants to overflow you with him...that is my prayer! I love you!

    Auntie Rachie

  2. I know the fear can be great, but remember she was expected to get worse after surgery before she starts getting better. This is the way it goes. It is hard to see her body ravaged by all that has been done, but the nurses are so diligent at keeping her as comfortable and least traumatized as possible. Jesus is holding your little girl and she is with him right now, not in a painful place. I'm sorry you can't be very vocal with her right now, but believe me, she knows you are there. She feels your presence, knows your smell, your whisper.

    I have always prayed for not only Esther, but you, her parents as well. This is such a tough road and there are times when you feel you can't even think, breathe, or feel anymore. God will hold you up. He will continue to provide you with strength you've never known was possible. People will ask you how you can be so strong and you will think, "I'm not, this is God." Don't go to that dark place, if you can help it. No sense to. Esther is amazing! She is a fighter! Look how far she's come! Deal only with what you are given right now. God is providing you the strength to handle each step of the way.

    Prayers for all three of you!
    Jacob's Mommy

    1. thank you Katy. I have never seem more wisdom in a post. Praying that Esther's parents can grab hold of what you have revealed about the Lord and their experience.

  3. Praying for your family now. You have been so encouraging to me. Jason, to read your faith in your darkest moments brings me to tears each time I read. I will continue to pray for your sweet little Esther and for peace to wash over you and Rhonda! The Lord is so good.

  4. The Lord bless you and keep you, make his face to shine upon you and be gracious unto you. The Lord lift up the light of his countenance upon you and give you his peace. We're praying with you!

  5. Beloved Papa, Jesus and Holy Spirit - Today you gave the Upper Room devotional from John 14:27 - Jesus said, "Peace I leave you; my peace I give to you... Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid. Papa understands how you feel because "In all their affliction He was affliced. (Isa. 63-9). You have not failed the test. Keep rebuking the lies - sometimes in the mist of all the fear, worry and pain all we can pray is "HELP AND THANK YOU!" He knows. Praying that you will experience His Amazing Love and Peace as He holds the 3 of you together in His Healing nail scarred hands and picture Precious Esther on the swing with you. In Jesus Holy Name we pray.