Testimony of God's faithfulness - That we may be one

First of all, this is Rhonda writing this blog entry.  My sweet husband Jason has been writing for our blog.  He just forgets to sign his name at the bottom of the page.  Little did I know, that he had such a gift in writing and sharing for the both of us.  He asked me to write today, and I said "no way, I can't write like you write."  But the Lord kept telling me in those few minutes, that it was time to share something very personal with all of you.  I pray it would encourage you wherever your heart is whether it is in the dark parts of your life where you feel there is nothing left or in a time of simple joy.

I became a Christian my freshmen year of high school.  My best friend Bekah and I decided it was time to leave our old ways behind and move on to something more fullfilling in our life.  We learned what it was like to have a personal relationship with Jesus and we were falling more and more in love with him.  It seemed like the next 3 years at Lynden High School people were becoming Christians left and right.  It was one of the most beautiful times of my life.  I went on to play college Fast pitch at Western Washington University.  It was my mission to bring Christ to the field and share the Love that Christ has for each of us.  I stopped playing my sophmore year because of a shoulder injury.  I was so sad that I wouldn't be able to minister and be an example to those girls on the team anymore.  That summer I felt the Lord calling me to YWAM (youth with a mission).  I went to Hawaii, and God transformed my life.  I fell even more deeply in love with him.  It seemed to last for a few years.  Then I felt myself in a drought with the Lord.  I was only doing devotions because it was something that I was suppossed to do to be close with the Lord.  I was stagnant in every way.  


In February of 2007, Young Life (a teen based program to introduce kids to the Lord) asked me to help out with a winter camp.  I couldn't be more excited to go back to serving the Lord.  I met some amazing leaders at that time.  I became really close friends with a friend there.  I felt like my relationship with the Lord was coming alive again.  I could feel him everywhere.  My heart was longing again to learn more about Jesus.  I was also working as a Juvenile Detention Officer for Whatcom County at the time.  There was some difficult things I was going through there and I felt very alone.  I woke up early from a graveyard shift and opened up my bible and found a passage in John 17:20.  Jesus was praying for us.  He was saying "that all of us may be one, father, just as you are in me and I am in you."  I set down my bible that day and said "Lord, I want to know you like that."  The same way Jesus connected to the father.  I can't imagine how close and intimate it was.  So I said that prayer that day "Lord help me to know you like you know the Father."  

A month or two later, as my relationship with a friend was inspiring me to get to know God more, and my relationship was growing with God, I was in a horrible car accident with one of my friends.  We were t-boned by a suburban that ran a stoplight going about 45 mph.  My head hit the window.  We were okay and did not need to go to the hospital, but our bodies were hurting instantly after that accident.  I hit a deep and dark place instantly.  I became depressed, withdrawn, and had pain in my neck and back.  My friend that I had recently met, left out of my life for reasons I still don't know.  She was no longer there for me.  I felt like my world was falling away.  I was alone and had nothing left.  There wasn't a moment I could take my mind off of my physical pain, but the mental and spiritual pain was the worst. I couldn't sleep.  All I could do is read my bible.  I spent those sleepless hours getting to know people of the bible who also went through pain and suffering.  I wanted to know who they were and why they were going through it.  How they got out of it.  On May 22nd, a couple of months after the car accident, I was reading My Upmost for his Highest (a devotional book of stories and scripture) at Starbucks and this is what the daily reading was:

The Explanation For Our Difficulties

May

22

2012

. . . that they all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You; that they also may be one in Us . . . —John 17:21

If you are going through a time of isolation, seemingly all alone, read John 17 . It will explain exactly why you are where you are— because Jesus has prayed that you “may be one” with the Father as He is. Are you helping God to answer that prayer, or do you have some other goal for your life? Since you became a disciple, you cannot be as independent as you used to be.

God reveals in John 17 that His purpose is not just to answer our prayers, but that through prayer we might come to discern His mind. Yet there is one prayer which God must answer, and that is the prayer of Jesus— “. . . that they may be one just as We are one . . .” (John 17:22). Are we as close to Jesus Christ as that?

God is not concerned about our plans; He doesn’t ask, “Do you want to go through this loss of a loved one, this difficulty, or this defeat?” No, He allows these things for His own purpose. The things we are going through are either making us sweeter, better, and nobler men and women, or they are making us more critical and fault-finding, and more insistent on our own way. The things that happen either make us evil, or they make us more saintly, depending entirely on our relationship with God and its level of intimacy. If we will pray, regarding our own lives, “Your will be done” (Matthew 26:42), then we will be encouraged and comforted by John 17, knowing that our Father is working according to His own wisdom, accomplishing what is best. When we understand God’s purpose, we will not become small-minded and cynical. Jesus prayed nothing less for us than absolute oneness with Himself, just as He was one with the Father. Some of us are far from this oneness; yet God will not leave us alone until we are one with Him— because Jesus prayed, “. . . that they allmay be one . . . .”

Tears streamed down my cheeks as I realized God was answering my prayers.  Remember, I had asked the Lord that I wanted to know him, and that we would be one, as you, father are in Me, and I in you; that they also be one.  I spent the next 9 months in depression, anxiety, mild panic attacks and sleepless nights.  

In those 9 months, our  young life director and my young life friends that were leaders, had been asking me for months to be a young life leader.  I said no.  1) I worked full time 2) I didn't know the bible that well 3) I had nothing to give 4) I am not crazy enough to be a young life leader 5) the list could go on and on.

I decided I would meet up and discuss this young life thing.  By the end of our conversation, I realized, "what do I have to loose?  I can't get any worse, I have already lost everything."  So I signed up to be a young life leader in Ferndale.  

God surprised me again.  Not only did I feel like I had nothing to give, but he gave me more than I could have dreamed of.  I had a new focus in life.  To minister to kids that need hope, love, friendship and fun.  I could do that.  God renewed my spirit and I began to sleep again.  I stopped focusing on myself and my problems, and starting helping others.  I was blessed with a whole new family of the most amazing christian leaders and friends.  I got welcomed into a new family that helped me over the next three years.

Here comes Jason into my life in 2009.  I spent that first year of dating, training for a marathon, working full time with Juveniles on probation, and still a Young Life leader.  That was hard.  Jason and I got married in September of 2010 and I stopped being a Young life leader to focus on Jason, our marriage, and starting our family.  

Since Jason and I had been married, we both prayed almost daily for the Lord to show us what our mission field was going to be together.  "Lord how do you want to use us.  We are open for anything?"  Little did we know that God would give us something so unexpected.  We found out when I was 21 weeks pregnant that she had CDH.  We were devastated.  She might not live through this.  "God, I did not sign up for this.  This isn't fair."  I know those thoughts only crossed our mind a few times, but we knew instantly that we were going to be thankful for each moment God gave us with her.  You have read our posts leading up to this, so I won't go into anymore explanation of how we processed this all.

We had no idea Esther's story would be shared with thousands.  We had no idea that people would be praying all over the World for our little girl.  We had no idea that this was going to become our mission field and that we would reach people and bring others closer to Christ because of her story and our walk of Gods sustaining grace and faith in our life.  So God once again has answered our prayer.  Not in a way that we were expecting, but in a greater way.  Our sovereign God allows these things to happen in our life for our benefit.  Any present conflict in our life, God will work it out for good.  This has been divinely allowed by him to work it out for his good.  In the deepest and darkest times of Jason and I's life, God allowed supernatural breakthroughs in relationships, and has opened up opportunities for us to share Christ with power and effectiveness.  We can rest in God's sovereign goodness.  We can't thank God enough for this trial.  For what he is doing in each of you through this.  I will leave you with this video Jason and I did at our church, Good News Fellowship in Ferndale, before Esther was born.  Thank you for allowing me to share a piece of my life that has forever changed us.