Rhonda and Jason

Rhonda and Jason
Our Wedding Day

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Jason here again.  Time for a little update on how things are going with the dad.  Like Rhonda posted, getting the results of the amniocentesis was a major relief.  It is amazing how no news can be the greatest news sometimes; Praise God!
I have been focusing on allowing God to power me, literally.  Our tendency as men and women in a fallen world is to sin and disobey God.  So with news like "CDH", I just want to mope around and feel sorry for myself, my wife, and our baby.  What happens when we give it up to Christ is He takes over and  without explanation we find ourselves somehow optimistic and joyful in an otherwise helpless situation.  At times lately, I feel like I'm just going through the motions and staying busy in order to avoid feeling or contemplating what is to come.  But when I'm in prayer, God just seems to be affirming me and showing me I can continue to live without the burden of "what if?".
So, there are definitely harder days and easier days, but in general, I'm really excited to see what God has in store.  I believe he wants us to trust in His promises and not fear the potential outcomes.  He is certainly teaching us an overall life lesson of living for the now and trusting in Him to provide for our needs.  Simply said, very difficult to do, but bit by bit learning to stop relying on myself and bring all things, big or small, to Him in prayer.
We are still preparing for the worst.  Attempting to plan on weeks to months at Children's Hospital, work schedule etc.    I am just trying to remain excited and expectant as any "father to be" should be.  Haven't told coworkers yet.  Only my manager and couple others.  Kinda dreading the constant "how are you's?" and "how's the baby?".  So will continue to pray for guidance with that and how God wants to use it.
Anyhow, we're so thankful for everyone's prayer and support.  It just gives us tangible evidence of how God is already using Esther's life to encourage us and others.  Please continue, and know we are praying for all of you as well.
We have appointments coming next week.  So should be updating again soon.
Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

1 comment:

  1. Hello Holtrops! Found you from a link on BabyCenter. We are also expecting a CDH baby, little Parker due May 26, 2012. What a journey already!! I hope you do not mind if I follow along with your story as we go along... Many prayers for y'all and your sweet little girl!
    -Abby Knoll from Atlanta