http://vimeo.com/10868953 click link at left to view video testimony by John Mark McMillan
I think this kinda sums up our feelings throughout this trial. You can easily find a full version of the song on itunes or youtube. This song has been dear to us since we were dating and we walked down the aisle to it at our wedding. Rhonda and I have had our own individual "messy" times in our lives where He has loved us through it all. How awesome is our God, that He would step into His own creation as a created being, only to receive ridicule, beatings and finally give His life through crucifixion upon a cross by those He came to save, all to atone for our short comings and sinfulness.
He loves us! You are included in that "us". He died for me, personally. He died for Rhonda, personally. Your sins were forgiven, as were mine, by His sacrifice. No greater love exists.
We are by no means done with this blog, but I hope you can understand our need to take some time.
Our dear Esther went home to be with our Lord Jesus Christ today. We do not mourn for her, but ourselves and the empty place in our hearts. We can have complete confidence that she will not suffer, struggle or worry at home in His loving arms. Blessed be the Name of our Holy and Awesome God!
I'm so sorry for your loss, but I am so glad for your faith! I pray that God will work in your hearts to heal the emptiness that Esther's passing has left. May He surround you with peace and comfort! Hugs!
ReplyDeleteWeeping for y'all... Celebrating for Esther as she rests in His arms. Thinking of your family and praying for you constantly!
ReplyDeleteMy heart aches for you. I know the pain of losing someone that you love so dearly, but I also know that there is no greater joy than experiencing the blessings that God has poured out and will continue to pour out on you. I pray that you will bask in His great love for you and receive the peace that only He can give. You will continue to be in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteLove to you both,
Brenda Thomas
Esther has touched my heart. Many, many prayers for peace. I will not forget her or you.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Jennifer
Mom to Dakota 12-25-2008 RCDH
There are no words. I hurt for you. You will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. I'm so sorry for your loss. May God carry you through this difficult time... Love from North Carolina...
ReplyDeleteI've been following your baby girl's story and keeping up with your guys via updates from our facebook moms group. My heart is broken for you guys. God brought this sweet girl to you for only a short time for a reason and why it may seem hard to grasp now, HIS timing is certainly perfect and one day you will understand that reason. Thankful you had the time with her you did. I am praying for you here in TN.
ReplyDeleteRhonda and Jason--My heart is breaking for you this morning. Many prayers for peace and comfort as you go through the loss of sweet baby Esther.
ReplyDeletei am so sorry for your loss. praying for peace and comfort during this time
ReplyDeleteMay you find God's Mighty Hands upon you and your family in this difficult time. Our prayers are with you and your family.
ReplyDeleteLuann (Holt) De Boer
Blessed be the name of the Lord. Praying for your family.
ReplyDeleteJason & Rhonda - I am truly sorry that little Esther is no longer with you but rejoicing that we know that she is now in the arms of Jesus. There are no words that I can say except we have walked the walk you are on right now. No parent should ever have to say good-bye to their baby but it does happen. Please know that my heart and prayers are with you both as well as your extended family. Praying for God's comfort to be surrounding each of you in the days to come.
ReplyDeleteJason & Rhonda,
ReplyDeleteYour faith has truely shined. I pray for your family through this season of life. If God brings you to it, God will bring you through it.
Praying for your family in this time of loss. She now will be taken care of buy the most wonderful man. And you will one day get to hold her in your arms again and praise the lord for the time he did give you with her. Your story has touched and blessed many lives, mine included. I am so sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss! Thinking of you both, and everyone who was affected by baby Esther and her amazing strength.
ReplyDeleteEsther has touched my heart so deeply, as has your faith in our Lord. He is Mighty and Awesome and most definitely LOVES us! Thank you for sharing this part of your lives with us, you have truly been an inspiration.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you guys. We will continue praying for you.
ReplyDeleteI thought of you many times during the night and said a prayer each time. As I felt led to pray for peace and comfort, little did I know your little baby girl had gone to be with the Lord. I am so sorry for your loss. May God continue to give you peace and strength, and may He continue to use you as a testimony for Him. Your story and your faith has truly been a witness of His love and faithfulness to us. We may not understand, but for all there is a purpose and reason. Hugs from a "stranger" but yet a sister in Christ.
ReplyDeleteI've been keeping up with your family's journey through fb mostly and it seems we have a few mutual friends. We've been praying for you and will continue. So sorry for the loss of your sweet little baby. So glad that you got to meet her and that she got to meet y'all. Praying for your pain to heal...and the memories to last forever. Wishing you both peace.
ReplyDeleteCarrie Chute
Rhonda and Jason,
ReplyDeleteMy heart is broken for you. I am so thankful for your amazing faith because you know that Esther IS healed and made whole and that you will see her again someday. Your sweet girl was so brave and she touched so many lives. I'm sure you've heard this song before, but I thought I would pass it along in case. I sometimes listen to this on repeat and think about Carter, who I'm sure has welcomed Esther with open arms and is showing her around :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2CnUtVY35o
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss of your sweet baby girl Esther. She was so beautiful. My heart aches for you two. I am praying & will continue to pray for you two & your extended family. May you find comfort in the arms of our Lord God. May his peace flood your hearts today & in the days ahead. I've followed your blog since Esther was born & your faith has amazed me through your journey & it has touched my heart. Lord God embrace Jason & Rhonda today with your love & comforting arms.
ReplyDeleteI am hurting for your family! Your loss is unfathomable- I can not begin to wrap my mind around what you are feeling. Although, throughout this your faith in Him has been an inspiration to me and my family. I will continue to pray for you!
ReplyDeleteJason and Rhonda. I'm a friend of a friend and I've followed your story briefly. My heart and prayers go out to you in this time of loss and sorrow. But I say thank you for choosing life and thank you for sharing with the world that life is sacred and meaningful. The Lord creates us imperfect, yet so perfect. There was a purpose for Esther's life, she served it, and now she has the joy of being with the Lord. God Bless you and your family.
ReplyDeleteYour little girl may have preached one of the best sermons without saying a word. Your testimony through this has blessed so many people and will continue to do so. Our prayers are with you as you now continue to live without your angel.
ReplyDeleteI will continue to pray for y'all. My heart is breaking for your family. God gave you this precious blessing to love and that is what you did. Your blog has been a testimony of your obedience and faith in Him. I will pray for peace and comfort, that God will wrap His loving arms around you. God Bless You.
ReplyDeleteLiz Doucet
Ive been following your blog since I was about 20 weeks along, I pregnant with twin boys due in August. Layton is perfectly healthy but Birger has CDH. We have our first appt with childrens and UW on May 15th. My heart breaks for you, Im so sorry you lost ur baby girl. I do not have the faith that you have showed in our Lord, My best friend Heather is so struck by your unwaivering faith that she told me she would love to meet you and your husband. Your outlook through this entire trial has been so positive. Hugs from a fellow CDH mom
ReplyDeleteAngela... so sorry you have to walk down the same road as we do but excited for the story that God will unfold in your life. Can we get together sometime. I would love to meet you and pray for you and answer any questions you have. Send me an email at rhondaroosma@gmail.com. Take care
DeleteFervently praying for your family.
ReplyDeleteThis morning at around 2:00, I was awake and couldn't figure out why. I had a strong sense to pray for you and little Esther. After checking your story this morning I know why.
ReplyDeleteMay God give you peace, comfort and strength.
Ramona Navis
Oh how our hearts ache for you. Praying for all God's comfort to surround you.
ReplyDeleteMy heart is heavy and broken for you. I will continue to pray for you.. I woke often last night, and each time I did I thought of you and Rhonda and prayed for you. I am so sorry. Your faith as been astounding and how you have continued to praise and glorify his name is such a HUGE testimony of Esther's life. I know there are no words that can make this easier - only God. So I will continue to pray for you and sending our love.
ReplyDeleteLiz Dooley
PDX
Dear Jason & Rhonda,
ReplyDeleteI am Jana's mom, Kate's grandma, who was Esther's roommie for the past few days at Children's. I understand, I pray for your comfort, and I know your friends & family and your strong faith are now surrounding you to lift you up and infuse you with love.
I want to thank you for the encouragement that you gave to Jana and Kris from the first day that they arrived at Children's. You have no idea how inspired they have been by your positive spirit and how much they prayed for Esther. Me too. CDH is such a rollercoaster ride, from the moment you first hear the diagnosis and deal with the uncertainty. Your blog is a wonderful way to give hope and comfort to anyone dealing with a child's medical journey. Thank you for taking the time and sharing your heart. I placed Esther's name in our prayer circle and will do the same for you and your family.
Divine light and love to you.
Jolene Baney
That was such a special time for us to meet them too. I wanted to get to know them so badly but also knew that I needed to focus on my little girl. I didn't want to sink fear in them by how things were going with Esther. What is their blog address? I want to encourage all of you. Know that Jason and I are doing well because of God. We would be a mess without him. But we trust and know that God ordained our time with her and knew all along what we would have and get out of it. We said it from the beginning that if God had said to us, "I am going to ask you to sacrifice something so others can get to know me. Would you be willing to do that for me." Jason and I knew that we would be okay with that. For those to get to know him, come back to him, renew their walk with him and even give their lives to him, that it would be worth it. Encourage Jana and Chris the same. Don't let a moment pass without sharing the ups and downs and what the Lord is doing in this. I hope we will see you all again with CDH get togethers and may even have the strength to come into children's and say hi and see how you all are doing. One thing the nurses helped us with is not getting to close to other families during this time and especially CDH ones while we are in Children's. We have to guard our hearts so we don't become resentful or hurt in the progress of our babies. Know we are praying daily for all of you.
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DeleteOh Rhonda, for you to think of Jana and Kris at this time is so heartfelt and sweet. They were devastated when they heard that Esther was gone. I am certain that they would love to connect when the time is right. They also were prepped to be aware of the emotions around all the other babies and not to compare. It's hard. Jana would be delighted to hear from you. We have been drawing on prayers from around the world. These little babies are master teachers of love and faith in God. We just get to come along for the ride. Please take good care and know our prayers continue for you, Jason and your family. Love, Jolene
Deletejason you put it perfectly..."We do not mourn for her, but ourselves and the empty place in our hearts." brokenhearted for you and rhonda. love you guys. Erin Vander Kooi
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear that news...been trying to follow this and had hoped for a better end to this chapter of your family. Been praying all along ...I babysat Julie, Monica, Michelle, Rhonda and Rachel when they were quite young..
ReplyDeleteElisa
Rhonda and Jason. I have no way to imagine how you both are feeling right now. My heart aches for both of you. My family, friends, church and I continue to pray for your comfort in this. You both have an amazing faith in God, and I know that only he can get you through this. Esther is in such a wonderful place, free of pain, free of tubes...just free! She is now looking down on the two most wonderful parents that she was able to call her own!
ReplyDeleteIf there is anything you need, please don't hesitate to ask.
~ Lorinda
I am so sorry for the loss of your little girl. I cannot imagine how difficult that would be to only have so little time with someone that you love so dearly; however, I must say that the love you both have for our Lord is absolutely amazing. Your faith and adoration for Him even in a difficult time has really encouraged me in my walk with Christ. I have been praying for your family through seeing a friend's facebook posts and I wish I could say more than "thank you" for the encouragement in seeing how much more I can love God even when things are difficult. My heart and prayers continue to go out to your family.
ReplyDeleteThere are no words...may you feel Gods presence in your lives. Thoughts and prayers still heading your way!
ReplyDelete~Alicia S.
Jesus wept. "OH, How He Loves Us!" Amen. You (3) are a Unique, Unrepeatable, Miracle of God ... Love without end. Praying without ceasing for you and the multitude of lives that Precious Esther touched through the faithfulness of her Pappa and Mommy. Upper Room sister in Our Lord Jesus Christ
ReplyDeleteI am weeping for your loss. I know your faith will help you through this, just as it has helped you in the past, but that doesn't diminish the pain you are feeling, now, or will continue to feel for some time. Esther was a gift to ALL of us. She was a little angel brought to earth and she touched the hearts of so many strangers. Your blog has also touched us, and I am glad you will continue to blog in the future.
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts and prayers continue to be with you. <3
I am so sorry for your loss, I am praying for your hearts right now.. You have been in my prayers through out this... It's touched my heart in a way I can't describe. I am Thankful sweet baby Esther gets to be in our Lord's strong arms right now.. You will continue to be in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteJason and Rhonda - I am stunned. It is shocking and overwhelming to read the words you had to write - that wee beautiful red headed Esther's little spirit has flown to be at the side of Christ. Words barely form in my own mind and I know are so insufficient to bring comfort. I can only imagine that as each hour and day passed that the curves of her beautiful flesh became more and more beloved to you. I had such hope that you would bring her home and you would have days upon days upon years with her. I am just so sorry. I do not understand the ways and wisdom of God but I stand with you, my dear only newly discovered brother and sister in Christ, believing that in this midst of this dark cavern He is with you and will sustain you. These verses in Isaiah 46 have come to mean so much to me:
ReplyDeleteListen to me, you descendants of Jacob,
all the remnant of the people of Israel,
you whom I have upheld since your birth,
and have carried since you were born.
4 Even to your old age and gray hairs
I am he, I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
I will sustain you and I will rescue you
I know He will be faithful to carry you and sustain you. Thank you so much for exposing yourselves in order to proclaim the glory of the Lord in your lives. Thank you for your gentle kindness and prayers for me. It breaks my heart to know you came to the hospital with hands full and there is a real way that you leave empty. Only the living God can meet you fully in that open place. I pray and pray and pray that He will. I do hope I will one day see your faces again, but if not, in all sincerity I look expectantly to that day where I will see you in heaven along side your Lord and daughter.
"Though my flesh it be destroyed, yet with my eyes I shall see God"!!!!!!!
May your sweet Esther rest in peace...I am sorry for your loss. Praying for comfort and peace for you and your family in the days to come. (((HUGS)))
ReplyDeleteTracy, Ian's mom from CHERUBS
We send prayers of comfort and healing. We know Esther is so honored to have you as parents, and is so thankful that you were with her throughout her short, sweet life. God is proud of you for staying faithful and He will surround you with His love, comfort, peace and angels. You and Esther have been tremendous instruments for our Father's teachings...as you mourn for the empty place in your heart, we will continue to pray for you both.
ReplyDeleteI heard of your story through a friend on FB...your faith and testimony through this time have been such an encouragement to many. What a beautiful baby and precious life that the Lord entrusted to you, albeit for a short-time. My prayers are with you as you grieve the loss of your sweet daughter and for those who may come to know our savior through her life. Blessings and peace to you both.
ReplyDeleteI am fortunate to have known you - Jason, Rhonda, and Esther - through my niece Angie. God bless you. Faith is a powerful virtue. Faith carries you through these trials and tribulations. Faith gives you comfort and peace. Our hearts are with you.
ReplyDeleteRandy & Lizzie
I don't know you and this is the first I've heard of your little girl, but my heart aches all the same because I know you've just lived out my worst nightmare. Yet here you are, living on and praising God! I pray for your strength and comfort in the days ahead. May God bless you both.
ReplyDeleteI am praying for you in TX. I am so very sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteRhonda and Jason, As I sit here weeping at the loss of your little angel, I am so uplifted by your courage, your strength, your grace, and your faith. My family and I have gone to the same church as the Roosma family as long as I can remember. I am SO incredibly impressed with what a strong, amazing individual Rhonda has become. I will continue to pray for you and your family and want you to know that I too have found strength through your story..So, Thank you and made God continue to bless you!
ReplyDeleteJulie (Fullner) Adams
Blessed be the name of the lord! Bless Esther
ReplyDelete& bless you. You have beautiful hearts. We don't know you, but me and my kids cried for your loss when we heard of your beautiful daughter's repose. Memory eternal Esther.
Daniel & Sonora Fairbanks
Rhonda and Jason, I am friends with Jai and when I heard your story and of Ester's passing I wanted to write and tell you that we are praying. Praying for peace, grace and mercy for you both. We rejoice with you that God is a benevolent God who cares for the littlest among us and she is with Him this moment. Grief can make things murky and dark, my prayer for you both is to always see God's shining light into your lives. May God bless you and keep you. Prayers for you from a brother and sister in Christ in California.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your story and your faith with us. You've done a wonderful thing in helping many of us grow closer to God. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteOh Jason and Rhonda,
ReplyDeleteThere are no words to adequately say how sorry I am for your loss. My heart is broken for you, and I will continue to lift you both up in prayer. I don't know the exact right words to say, except to thank you for sharing your sweet girl with us. I wanted you to know that I have been praying (and crying) with you through this journey, and will continue to do so. I am happy for the moments you got to spend with your precious baby girl and so very sad for your loss. Your beautiful Esther is in the arms of Jesus and is smiling down on you from heaven with new lungs and a body that is perfect. I believe you will get to meet her one day. I can only fathom what you are going through, but the Lord promises to be with us always, through the darkest of times, and His Spirit intercedes for us with when we can't find the words to express our deepest emotions and sorrow. Bless you for sharing your faithfilled testimony through Esther's story. Esther has touched numerous lives just in her short time here on earth. I pray that you continue to feel God's hands and comfort upon you through this most difficult time.
Love and prayers,
Katy
Little Esther was blessed to have such wonderful parents, & the world is blessed to see your example of unwavering faith. My sincere condolences. May you continue to feel peace in God's love & knowing little Esther is now free.
ReplyDeleteAlicia & I continue to keep your family in our thoughts. Even though we have also walked this difficult road, it's still hard to know what to say. We pray Jayden & all the other angels were there to greet her with warm hugs!
ReplyDeleteEsther's story and your family's journey, although incredibly hard, has been a beautiful testimony to how each life, no matter how small or how short, can have a huge impact on so many!
May the days ahead be gentle,
May the Lord bless you and keep you,
May the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you.
May the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.
I know that empty feeling all too well. I lost my own child 2 years ago. It's a hurt and ache like no other. My heart hurts that someone else has to go through that too. However, I am so glad that you have so much testament that her life was meaningful for many people. Everyone should be so worthy. I know I am most certainly not. I will continue to keep praying for you and your family to get through the road ahead.
ReplyDeleteRhonda & Jason - I am friends with Jenny Lawrence and Cynthia - have met you a couple times down at Cynthia's beach. Just wanted to share that you both have been in my prayers through this journey. Your faith and ability to lift Jesus up despite the most difficult of situations is not only a testament of your faith but also inspiring to me. I wanted to pass on my condolences but we know that Esther is happy, healthy and playing with her Savior. May you find comfort in that. I will continue to pray for God's peace in your lives. With love, Lisa Mee
ReplyDeleteRhonda and Jason,
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine what you must be feeling -- I don't pretend to know. You and your beloved angel are in my thoughts daily, even here at the other side of the country. I pray that God will give you a peace that transcends all understanding during this time.
Brian Morrison, father to baby Jude
The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18)
Dear Holtrops,
ReplyDeleteI have been praying for you and Esther since reading about your situation on Christie Nelson's FB updates; we are from the same church in Dallas. My family lives in Uganda, and we work with Wycliffe Bible Translators, so I have had the honor of praying for you all in my daytime; your nighttime.
Thank you for using this time in your life and Esther's life to give God glory and to be His salt and light in a dark world. I am praying for you as you grieve the loss of your sweet baby girl, even while knowing that she is happy and healed with her Father.
Kim Hill
I wrote several days ago, but it got erased!
ReplyDeleteI've been following your journey and have been praying daily for all three of you. When I heard of Esther's passing, I broke into tears and felt devastated...I can only imagine how it feels, as I have a 10 month old baby girl. I live in Seattle and wanted so much to drive to Children's Hospital and wrap my arms around all of you. Thank you for your courage, faith, and conviction. Thank you for sharing your story and being a testimony of God's goodness and faithfulness. I will forever be changed by your story and by Esther's sweet life.
Your "Family" is truly a "Gift from Our Lord"; for all that you have chosen to share with US. I can only say "Thank You" for truly loving your wife-my precious niece "Rhonda" and how honored I am to know what a great father you are for "Esther Frances." This precious "Angel" will forever be near us always............
ReplyDeleteI am in a Bible study with Julie and have been praying for each of you. My husband and I lost our son 16 years ago and our hearts ache for you. May God comfort you in ways that are not humanly comprehensible.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing Esther with us readers. Your faith is amazing.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss. Your unwavering faith is an inspiration to all. Your family is in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteEmily Garcia
Rhonda and Jason,
ReplyDeleteBe there for each other always. What you created together, from your love and hope, is beautiful and lives on. Cisco and I lost our first baby and we will never know why. We named him Gabriel and he is our angel and protects our family. I know there are no words to heal your pain and give you the comfort you need. I'm so sorry for your loss,
Jessica